A Taste of Heaven

I know, I know. My little boy has been here for over three weeks now, and I'm just now writing of his arrival. If you've never had the experience of bringing home a little one, let me just say that the last few weeks of my life have been a complete blur. I think part of the reason babies grow so fast is because we are zombies half the time.
On Sunday, October 16, my water broke at 4:30 am. I initially thought that I had wet the bed (so glad that wasn't the case!), when we realized what was happening, we decided to go to the Raymond hospital first to see how dilated I was. The nurse said I was only between 1-2 cm, so we went home and tried to get things going a little. I bounced on the yoga ball for a while until the contractions started getting stronger, and we decided to head in to Lethbridge. Once we arrived at the hospital, we headed to labour and delivery, and they measured me again. We were disappointed to find out that I hadn't progressed AT ALL. So we went and hung out at our friends Kandace and Geoff's house (they live in Lethbridge, and we didn't want to head all the way back into Raymond for a few hours). So after a few hours, we grabbed some breakfast and headed back to the hospital. My doctor came to see us, and I was CERTAIN that he was going to say I was over 6 cm, I was in so much pain (I had back labour the entire time!)! Nope. I was still only somewhere between 2-3 cm. So we decided to stay at the hospital. We spent a long time in the shower there, the hot water helped a little. Jess was trying desperately to do everything he could to relieve the pain. It seemed like the contractions were getting worse and worse, and I was vomiting from the pain. After being in the shower  forever, I decided I really needed something more. The pain was just too intense. So after Jess convincing me that I didn't really want an epidural, I got a shot of morphine in the bum. I've heard so many women say that you lose all sense of modesty when you are in labour, and I totally did not believe it until that day. I honestly could not care less that the nurse was putting a needle in my rear. After the shot, we decided to try to walk around the hospital for a while, to see if we could get things going. We walked for a LONG time. When we went back to the room, they finally said we could move into our own private room (we were in the induction room up until this point, because I hadn't hit the magical 4cm yet).
Once we got into the room, I asked for an epidural again, and Jess talked me out of it, again. I should say that during our prenatal class, we had been encouraged to write out a birth-plan, and we did. In it, we said that I wanted to avoid drugs if possible, and that I didn't want an epidural. So, the nurses thought my best option then, to help with the pain, would be to hook me up to an IV (for morphine), and start me on the drip to hopefully get things rolling. Four perfectly capable nurses, and a complete gong-show later, I had the IV in. My veins are really hard to get anything into, it was ridiculous. An hour later after all that, the pain had gotten MUCH worse, which I didn't know was even possible, but it sure did. The contractions were much more painful, lasted longer, and were closer together. Death. I was clenching the side of the bed, crying in pain. So, once again asked for an epidural, this time there was no talking me out of it! So, the nurse said she would request one right away, she just had to check where I was at first. She was checking, and double checking, and finally she said, "you're at 10 cm, you're going to start pushing soon!". Um, what??! An hour ago I was only 4 cm along!  I was so not ready for that. I started freaking out, and I was telling her that I couldn't do it. In my head, I was trying to wrap my head around the whole birthing process, and it just didn't make sense in that moment. How could it even be possible for something that large to leave my body? How could any of it happen, and me be alive at the end? It just didn't make sense. The nurse took charge though, and Jess was right there, telling me that I could do this! So I got into position and starting pushing, and wow, wow, WOW! It was amazing! As soon as I realized that I had the power to make the contractions go away, I was totally on board! I loved the entire pushing experience. I LOVE that I got to experience it that way, without an epidural (although I don't blame women who get them!). It was just the most amazing thing to feel this baby making his way out to the world. My doctor got there not too long after, and after about 20 minutes of pushing, our little boy made his appearance.
We heard him cry, and it was completely surreal. We just looked at each other like "can you believe that just happened?" and started crying. They gave him to us right after they cleaned him up, and I just couldn't believe that this was my baby. I just starred at him. I was a mom. I was going to love and protect this little boy no matter what. I loved him instantly.  
I continue to love him and love our new life together as a family everyday. Being a new mom is harder  than I could have ever imagined, but I love it. I love my little boy. He is so perfect, and we are so incredibly lucky to have him here. We love you Ethan!

Ethan George Cahoon
Born: Sunday, October 16th, 2011 at 9:54 pm.
Weighing: 7lbs, 5oz.